A heartbreaking interview with an ex-atheist
We interviewed a former atheist about his path from Christianity to atheism and back to Jesus. A heartbreaking story in the interview with an ex-atheist who reveals his secrets, and gives a kind overlook to the whole journey.
A list of questions interview with an ex-atheist:
- How did you become an atheist?
- Can you describe your life as an atheist?
- Were you an immoral person while you were an atheist?
- Why did you go to a Protestant church?
- How did the conversion happen?
- What does the verse in 2 kings 19:22 mean to you?
How did you become an atheist?
Well, it was a long time ago, while I was still in high school. I was born into a Christian family. (Not Protestant) We were celebrating all major holidays, but we didn’t have a relationship with God at all. My family went to Church a couple of times a year. However, I was looking and searching for God. I was praying to saints and the holy mary. So, in High school, I decided to join a class and learn more about our faith. Once the priest began to talk about Genesis and how God created everything, I was suspicious. Even in high school, I knew I want to be a scientist.
Naturally, science and religion are the opposite, and I was moving toward science. It took a couple of months and maybe a year until I completely denied the existence of God. I went to Church all those years in high school and took that class for four years. I haven’t learned much; I’ll be honest. We didn’t even have Bibles or any kind of book. All those questions about the origin of life and how old the Earth is, etc., made me an atheist. Until I started that class, I didn’t think about it. I never thought the Church would drive me to atheism.
I remember very clearly even today in was Jun or July the year I started college. I went to the Church and said, “Well, God, this is over. Everything between us is over. But if you exist, I am sorry.” I left the door as if I will never come back. That is how my journey of atheism began. In the Church.
Can you describe your life as an atheist?
Hm…I thought I was on top of the world. It was like I was the smartest person in the world, while at the same time, I was feeling miserable. I felt so lonely. I mean, you realize, you are born, and you will die someday, and that is it. My life back then was a roller coaster. At one point, I’m on top, and I feel fantastic because I think I know something that others don’t know. God does not exist. While in the next moment, I am at the bottom, and I do not understand the purpose and meaning of life. It was challenging.
At that time, I was living in a dormitory, and I had two roommates. One of them is a protestant, to be more specific, a baptist. It was the moment when I first met a believer, and I was scared. I knew nothing about that kind of faith and life. Occasionally we had many debates and was enjoying them. I just had to be right. My former roommate bought a Bible for me. As I was reading it, my atheism grew in the beginning. So I decided to start a project. How to prove, Biblically, that God doesn’t exist? I wanted to go to a protestant church, but I was scared because I was sound that it is a cult.
However, my thoughts were how would that experience be helpful for my project. So, one of my friends, who was also an atheist, went there first. He said, I remember that very clearly, It was okay, you know that they don’t have saints and pictures of saints, nor they recognize Holy Mary. If you could only see a shock on my face. How can they neglect the mother of God? So, I had to see it for myself. And that indeed was my first real experience with real church and community.
Were you an immoral person while you were an atheist?
I would not say immoral because it is a different mindset. For sure, I was not a bad person. In that mindset, you think that you don’t need God to tell you right from wrong. If you can’t see that hurting other people is wrong, then something must be wrong with you. For an atheist, everything has to be logical. At that time, I didn’t know that faith is above reason. Stealing, hurting, lying and other wrong behavior was strange for me. However, I had that kind of relationship outside of marriage that married people have. Sometimes I wasn’t even in a relationship. And from a Christian point of view, that is immoral.
One of the problems was salvation through good deeds. I remember, one time, I said to my roommate that if he is doing something so he can earn his way to Heaven, then he is not a good person. What I didn’t know then is justification by faith alone. Those Christians do well just because it is good, they don’t buy a ticket to Heaven. Even then, as an atheist, I was doing charity work. I was giving to the needy and poor. However, as I said earlier, I was not a happy person, I was lonely.
The verse in 2 kings 19:22 followed me through the whole journey. For me, it wasn’t enough that I don’t believe I have to convince other people too. I was challenging God. There was a time when I was making myself equal with him.
Video of a heartbreaking interview with an ex-atheist
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